Sunshine with Laughter



 It was a beautiful September morning when Evan and I set off early on our walk.We stopped at Sprinkling tarn for breakfast before heading up to Allen crags and Glaramara.

As we were leaving the summit of Glaramara and I slipped and badly hurt my ankle.

Unable to move I remained exactly were I was, fighting the urge to pass out.I knew immediately that I had really hurt myself.

Evan found my initial fall and involuntary scream very funny!

He stood next to me re-enacting my cry of pain , laughing harder each time he did it.

I explained that I had hurt myself and needed to rest for a moment whilst I put a bandage on my ankle.

Unfazed he seized the opportunity to ask if he could open his can of coke!

As I removed my shoe to tape up my quickly swelling foot I felt a real surge of panic. I wasn’t at all sure I was going to be able to walk us off the fell.

I realised I was going to cry.

Evan relies heavily on his walking to relieve stress and escape the sensory overload of life.The fells are where he is at home.Where he is confident.The area of his life where he can be truly free.

My head was spinning.

I knew if I decided to call someone I ran the risk of taking all of that away.

I knew that I could make walking the fells something he no longer associated as positive.I could ruin it by changing the rules.

I quickly ran through the options in my head

Option 1. Call Mountain rescue.A definite no for many reasons the first being pride! I was aware that if I called them even tho my injury was minor they would deploy a full team. Something that would have been extremely distressing for Evan and an unnessasary waste of valuable resources.

Option 2.Phone a friend. this was very tempting! I could call someone to come and give me a bit of moral support and help me down.In reality the time it would take for someone to come to my aid made it made it unrealistic..

I decided that if I wasnt bad enough to call mountain rescue then the only option was to hobble off the fell best I could.The weather was on my side as was daylight.Although I was feeling a bit tearful and sick I was aware that my injury was more of an inconvenience rather than anything life threatening.

So keeping my voice as upbeat as possible I told Evan that I was going to have a quick grown ups cry and after that we would be on our way!

I put my head in my hands and quietly sobbed.

I then managed to regain my composure and we set off.

I was shocked at how much pain I was in and knew it was going to be a very long walk down.

I sent Evan in search of a stick,he quickly returned and presented me with a 2 inch twig! I had failed to mention I wanted it to help me walk

After a few minutes I had to stop yet again much to Evans annoyance. I explained to him I was in pain and wasn’t able to go any faster.

He patted my shoulder (a little too hard) and said rather formally”I am sorry to hear that”

Then as if suddenly realising it was serious his face crumpled and he said ” will we be back in time for the’ Simpsons’?”

Evan’s need for routine and structure can never be underestimated.

Like a duck gliding on calm waters the work that goes on under the surface to achieve his ability to cope with life is invisible.

On certain days he watches the Simpsons at then the repeat of the same episode at 7pm. On nights where he swims both episodes are recorded.

At that moment I was extremely grateful for our early start that morning.

I still had 5 hours on the clock.

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