Crackers and Peas.

Today Evan and I went out for lunch, it was our home-school “Christmas dinner” 

I encourage Evan to try new places to try to prevent rigid routines,however as it was a treat he got to choose wherever he liked.

He chose his favorite place and his usual table.

Most of the staff know Evan well in his prefered eatery, it is somewhere he has visited many times, a place where he enjoys his dining experience to the full!

We had decided we would take crackers with us so it was more like a Christmas dinner but even I was a little taken aback when Ev tucked the entire box under his arm as we left the house.

Sat in his favorite seat,Evan happily hummed as he arranged a pile of Christmas crackers.

The waiter came to take our order.

Evan eloquently requested, as always “Fish fingers,chips no peas or garnish a glass off coke with no ice but a slice of lemon please”

I ordered my usual “pot of tea for one”

It is not possible to eat a meal myself and ensure Evan receives the care and attention he needs to  keep him safe,eat his food and enjoy his experience, so I tend to always have a pot of tea.

It was busy in the restaurant with groups of people having staff Christmas lunches.

unfazed Evan pulled crackers and we put on Christmas hats.


 Evan has taught me a lot about what is important  in life and what is not.

 The best thing I have learnt from him is the ability not to be embarrassed, to not worry about what other people think of you.

 So at 41 I found myself sat in a crowed restaurant with 2 paper hats on my head as it made him giggle!

When the waiter brought Evans food my heart sank.

“Extra peas just for you” he smirked and plopped the plate down.

Evan eyes were like saucers.

I quickly asked the waiter,who was new, if he could please remove the peas.

He was so rude.

He snatched the plate up and said “FINE” and then as he walked away in his most sarcastic voice said”Whatever”

The barman, that had taken our order, that knows Evan came over and said sorry.

I was so upset.

The waiter had treated me like my child was a spoilt brat, when infact  it was an error in the kitchen.

He was so rude.

I fought back tears for the rest of the meal.

Even if there was no reason behind it and Ev just didnt want peas on his plate as a paying customer we deserved to be treated with civility.

Even if he had asked for peas then changed his mind we deserved to be treated as a paying customer with civility.

For me it spoilt the meal.

We chose not to stay for Evans usual ice cream as when we say”no sprinkles,no sauce,no wafers” all too often as it is for a child a fancy ice cream arrives.

When I payed the bill at the bar I spoke to a member of staff that has served us many times on our numerous visits over the years.

I said that I did not wish to complain or make a fuss in front of Evan but I was very upset by how rude the waiter had been,that we had specifically asked for a meal with out anything on the plate other than the fish fingers and chips, so when I sent it back I was not in the wrong.

I was gutted by what he said next.

The member of staff said as the new waiter walked passed with peas on the plate I told him “that little boy is autistic he will not eat that,he only has fish fingers and chips”

Yet he then approached my child and said”Extra peas”

I wanted to shout and scream.

 I didn’t as I guess you can’t educate pork?

I have felt upset all day…….

It is a fantastic lesson for us all

We do not know another’s journey.

Huge for Evan to be eating out,feeling important,me totally knackered, feeling broken that Christmas is a non event,jealous of everyone that has ever had a child that said the words”He’s been,he’s been”

The moral..?

hold the peas!


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One Response to Crackers and Peas.

  1. Rachael Howard says:

    Sounds like the new waiter is a bully who saw a chance to make someone suffer. Not the sort of person who should be near any human being let alone working in the service industry. Terrible that you both had to experience that. I doubt he will be there long because I imagine he will treat all the clientelle in the same offensive manner. Hope you have a lovely pea free christmas and thank you for your inspirational posts.

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